


Fleeting

by faiczn



Series: Timing and Everything in Between [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No COVID-19, Bittersweet Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, M/M, One Night Stands, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:27:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28317486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faiczn/pseuds/faiczn
Summary: Jaehyun had been avoiding him for a year and a half and now he showed up on Sicheng’s graduation day with a bouquet of flowers and asks him out for coffees? What the hell is going on?
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun
Series: Timing and Everything in Between [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063289
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	Fleeting

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I want to thank you for reading Finite and send me such sweet words. So many people told me the ending made them cry, which was kind of my goal when I wrote it but I still felt bad nonetheless 😂. So, I ended this one with a happier note... at least compared to Finite.
> 
> This is just a short bridge between Finite and the actual sequel which I haven't even started writing yet lol. The sequel will be titled Forevermore, so you can guess how the two of them will end up.
> 
> I have been sitting on this for a while and the more I read it, the more I kept editing, so I just decided to post it to get it over with hahaha. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

**February 2020**

At first, Sicheng couldn’t believe it. When Yukhei said he saw someone who looked like Jaehyun on the bus stop near their campus. Because he almost never showed his face on campus for two whole years, except on Ten, Yuta and Kun’s graduation day a year ago. That was the last time Sicheng saw him.

He didn’t want to flatter himself thinking Jaehyun would come to his graduation day. Not when Taeil, Taeyong and Youngho also graduated on the same day. He knew they still talked to Jaehyun regularly. They even went out of their way to visit Jaehyun’s apartment along with Ten, Doyoung and Mark just so they could hang out.

Sicheng didn’t do any of that.

“Sicheng-ah, come on!” Chaeyoung tapped on his shoulder. He nodded and joined his classmates who were going to take a picture in front of the engineering building. Since he was the only guy from his year who graduated today, the girls insisted he stood in the center on every photo. They all looked quite funny, to be honest.

His phone kept buzzing in his pocket while they were taking pictures together, but he ignored it. Only after they finished, he finally checked his phone. 3 missed calls from Yuta.

Sicheng stepped away from his friends to call him back. Yuta picked up on the first ring.

“Hey,” Yuta murmured.

“Hi,” Sicheng said, feeling a twinge in his heart just from hearing Yuta’s voice. It had been months since the last time they talked.

“Congratulations, Sicheng-ah,” Yuta said softly.

“Thank you, hyung…” Sicheng murmured.

“Can you switch to video call? I want to see you in a suit,” Yuta asked, grinning. Sicheng rolled his eyes, but did it anyway, stretching his arms to show Yuta his outfit from head to toe. Yuta cooed after him, praising his choice to go navy instead of black. “You look good.”

“Thanks,” Sicheng grinned.

“What are you doing right now?”

“Just taking pictures with everyone.”

“Your parents came?”

“Yeah, but they went back to the hotel already.”

A few meters away from him, Eunha pointed at something and all his friends turned to that direction, then they started shouting, waving their hands to call someone. Sicheng stretched his neck out to see who they were talking to. It was Jaehyun.

“What happened?” Yuta asked, probably heard all the commotion.

“Jaehyun’s here,” Sicheng replied, faking nonchalance as best as he could.

“Go on, then, I don’t want to get in your way,” Yuta smirked.

“Stop it,” Sicheng chided.

“I have to go anyway,” Yuta said.

“Hyung, come on, we haven’t talked in months,” Sicheng stubbornly held on. Yuta just shrugged, chuckling lightheartedly.

“It’s fine, Sicheng-ah,” Yuta grinned. “Just go to him. You haven’t seen him in a while, right?”

“Yeah,” Sicheng admitted sheepishly.

“We’ll talk again soon, okay?” Yuta reassured him, although it was probably just empty words. “Congratulations again, Sicheng-ah.”

“Thank you for calling, hyung.”

“No problem. Say hi to Jaehyun for me,” Yuta smiled as he said it. He hung up after saying goodbye.

“Sicheng!” His friends called out to him. Sicheng looked up and immediately, his eyes met Jaehyun’s. Sicheng almost choked, embarrassing himself. 

Jaehyun was wearing casual clothes. Black leather jacket with fur lining and black jeans, sneakers, and a beanie to cover his short hair. He looked devastatingly good even from this distance and it shouldn’t affect Sicheng at all, but it did. It always did when it came to Jaehyun.

Sicheng looked away, trying to get a grip on himself. Never mind that his inability to act like a normal person in front of Jaehyun hurt his pride like no other. Even his hands started to tremble as he stood up and walked up to them. 

Their friends left them alone, probably because they knew Sicheng was Jaehyun’s closest friend in their major. Maybe they thought Sicheng was the reason Jaehyun even bothered to show up.

“Hi,” Jaehyun smiled, more polite than anything. “Congratulations, Sicheng-ah.”

“Thank you,” Sicheng tried to smile back, but his face felt tight and it didn’t come out right. God, he must’ve looked like a total idiot.

Jaehyun was holding a small bouquet, pink roses with a bunch of baby breath. Sicheng stared at it, wondering who Jaehyun bought it for.

“It’s yours,” Jaehyun said easily and gave it to him. “I don't know what flower you like so I just ask for the florist’s suggestion.”

“I like roses,” Sicheng murmured. Their fingers brushed as he took the bouquet. He pushed down the urge to flinch.

“Well, there you go,” Jaehyun gave him a slight smile.

“I didn’t know you’d come,” Sicheng said. “You’re on a break?”

“No, I’m done, actually,” Jaehyun gave him a little smile. “Just got back last week.”

“Oh,” Sicheng didn’t know that. Not that he ever knew anything about Jaehyun these days.

“I’m in town already, so might as well come to the graduation,” Jaehyun shrugged. Almost two years away, he got even better in hiding his feelings behind a mask of indifference. No crack whatsoever. Sicheng had no idea what he was thinking about.

Sicheng didn’t know what else to say. He racked his brain for any topic at all and remembered it was February. Jaehyun just had his birthday last week.

“Um, before I forgot, happy birthday,” Sicheng said.

“Oh, right…” Jaehyun smiled a little. “Thanks.”

It was so awkward between them, Sicheng was almost relieved when his friends called them so they could take more pictures. After a few more group photos, they all broke into smaller groups, leaving to attend their own get-together. Sicheng didn’t really hang out with his classmates, so he waved them goodbye. 

Jaehyun stayed back with him. They both probably wanted to find Taeil, Taeyong and Youngho now, so they might as well go together.

“Have you seen the hyungs?” Jaehyun asked.

“Yeah, during the ceremony, but I haven’t seen them since,” Sicheng said. “I’ll call Ten hyung. Maybe they’re in the Music building.”

Sicheng awkwardly held on to his graduation robe and the bouquet Jaehyun gave him while he tried to pull out his phone from his pocket.

“Here, let me…” Jaehyun took both the bouquet and the robe.

“Thanks,” Sicheng grinned. Ten called him before he even dialed his number.

“Yeah, hyung?” Sicheng chimed.

“Where are you? We’re all here already,” Ten demanded. It was a tradition, started on Ten, Yuta and Kun’s graduation last year. They all took a picture together on the campus’ main walkway that everyone called the boulevard with the iconic campus center building in the background.

“On the boulevard? I’ll go there right now,” Sicheng started walking right away, gesturing at Jaehyun to follow him.

“Yeah,” Ten replied, before asking in a hushed tone, “Jaehyun came today. Did you hear?”

“Yes,” Sicheng murmured.

“You met him already?” Ten asked again, surprised.

“Yes.”

“Are you with him right now?” Ten gasped excitedly. God, Ten was always a gossip. But if it concerned Sicheng’s love life, he got even more invested. 

“I’ll see you later, hyung,” Sicheng said.

“Oh my god!” Ten giggled, just before Sicheng hung up the phone.

“Boulevard, right?” Jaehyun asked. Sicheng nodded, fastened his pace since everyone was waiting for him already. Fortunately, the engineering building was right next to the boulevard, so they got there in five minutes.

“There he is!” Taeil called as soon as he saw him. “Dong Sicheng!”

The rest of the group turned to look at him, waving to tell him to hurry up. Sicheng laughed and practically ran to them. Half of them rushed toward him, offering a chorus of congratulations, and drowning Sicheng in a group hug.

Then, Jaehyun showed up and the older guys welcomed him warmly, happy to see him after a while. The younger half of the group just watched them without a word since none of them knew Jaehyun well enough.

“Who’s that?” Sicheng heard Chenle asked in Mandarin.

“Sicheng’s ex-boyfriend,” Renjun answered him. Sicheng almost wanted to laugh. The gossip in this group was a disease.

“Come on, let’s take the pictures,” Yukhei clapped his hands loudly after the commotion started to die down.

“Where’s your robe?” Youngho asked Sicheng.

“Oh, right…” Sicheng turned around to look for Jaehyun.

“Here…” Jaehyun already stood behind him, giving him the dark teal robe, waiting patiently as Sicheng put it on. “Do you want to hold the bouquet?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Sicheng nodded and took the bouquet.

Sicheng only realized how their interaction looked like in his friends’ eyes, when they stopped talking the second he turned toward them. He probably just confirmed what they thought about him and Jaehyun. Ten grinned the second their eyes met, wiggling his eyebrows cheekily. Sicheng rolled his eyes to mask how flustered he was.

“Sicheng-ah!” Taeyong called. 

“Come on, you have to stand in the center!” Youngho said. Sicheng took his designated position in the center, letting Taeyong fix his robe and cap, always enjoying being doted on.

“Okay, guys, get ready,” Yangyang shouted, before setting on the self-timer. They took a few pictures together, then a few more only for the four graduates. After that, they had a full-on photo session. Sicheng felt like he took a picture with every single one of them, even Jaehyun.

By the end of it, all Sicheng wanted was to go back to his hotel and take a nap. Especially because they would see each other again tonight for dinner and drinks. He had to save his energy.

“I’m going back first, guys!” Sicheng told everyone. Jaehyun turned to look at him from where he was standing near Mark and Taeyong. Sicheng pretended he didn’t notice.

“Alright, see you tonight, Sicheng-ah!” Ten was the one who answered.

Before Sicheng even started walking away, his phone chimed, announcing a text. He pulled out his phone from his pocket, shocked to find it was a text from Jaehyun.

**Jung Jaehyun**

_What are you doing after this?_

Sicheng looked up and immediately met Jaehyun’s eyes, even among this group of more than a dozen men. Jaehyun raised his phone, telling him to reply.

_Just going back to the hotel_

_Why?_

_Do you want to get coffee or something?_

_I want to talk to you_

Now, Sicheng didn’t see that coming.

Jaehyun had been avoiding him for a year and a half now. He told Sicheng himself back then. They couldn’t be friends anymore. Jaehyun even went as far as telling Sicheng to stay away every time he was around.

And now he showed up on Sicheng’s graduation day with a bouquet of flowers and asks him out for coffees? What the hell is going on?

_Ok_

_Meet me at Monolog in 15 minutes_

Then, Sicheng slipped his phone inside his pocket and walked toward the front gate without even sparing as much as a glance at Jaehyun. He briefly considered stopping by at the hotel first, but it was too much of a hassle, so he headed toward the café right away.

The café was empty when he arrived. Sicheng could sit anywhere and no one would be able to hear what he and Jaehyun would talk about. Still, Sicheng took a table in the corner after he ordered his ice americano.

Jaehyun walked in only five minutes after Sicheng settled down. He waved at him, smiling wide until his dimples formed on his cheeks. Sicheng smiled back stiffly, waved back awkwardly.

Ugh. Why did Jaehyun have to be so handsome? It got on his nerve sometimes.

It wasn’t long until Jaehyun sat in front of Sicheng with his own Ice Americano. He also bought two pieces of brownies, warm and gooey on the plate.

“Here,” Jaehyun gave Sicheng one of the forks he brought.

“Thanks,” Sicheng murmured as he took the fork. Jaehyun started eating right away, but Sicheng just watched him without a word.

Jaehyun made small talks by asking about their friends as they ate. What they were up to. Who were still dating, who got together and who broke up.

Their group’s resident domestic couple, Ten and Youngho, were still going strong, even after five years together. Taeyong and Doyoung started dating last summer. Renjun and Donghyuck broke up again for the nth time. This time was probably for real, because Donghyuck left for his military service right after.

Renjun had asked Sicheng how he coped with the separation since he had experienced it first. Sicheng told him to stay away from Korean men and date a foreigner instead.

“Renjun and Donghyuck?” Jaehyun repeated, confused. “Oh, the freshmen?”

“They’re almost in their third year already,” Sicheng scoffed.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll meet them soon enough,” Jaehyun chuckled. “What about Kun and Yuta? They’re still around?”

“No, they both moved back home,” Sicheng answered. Mentioning Yuta reminded him of something. “Yuta hyung called me earlier. He told me to say hi to you.”

“Oh, right, I haven’t talked to him in a long time…” Jaehyun mused. “How is he?”

“I’m not sure, actually. He only called to congratulate me on my graduation,” Sicheng shrugged.

“I thought you’re close with him now,” Jaehyun said, with a playful smile on his lips. It was meant to be lighthearted, but Sicheng couldn’t help thinking there was a hint of sarcasm there.

“We are, I guess…” Sicheng huffed.

“You don’t talk to him anymore now that you’ve stopped fucking?” Jaehyun blurted out, seemed to be surprising himself. He bit his lips, as if he wanted to stop himself before he could say anything else.

But the damage was done and Sicheng wasn’t going to just shake it off. What Jaehyun said was unnecessarily cruel and petty. It wasn’t wrong of him to sleep with Yuta or any other guy, really. Because he realized, when he wasn’t blinded with his crush on Jaehyun, there were quite a few guys who wanted to spend time with him if he just gave them a chance.

Although, none of the nights he spent with them held a candle with the one he spent with Jaehyun. Even after two years.

“If you’re only looking for a fight, I’m leaving,” Sicheng warned in exasperation. 

Jaehyun’s face darkened for a second. Finally, a crack in his facade. His expression softened when their eyes met, sighing before he apologized. 

“No, please…” Jaehyun shook his head. “I’m being a jerk. I’m sorry.”

“What’s all this about anyway?” Sicheng demanded impatiently.

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun still feigned ignorance.

“You refused to talk to me all this time and suddenly this…” Sicheng gestured at the brownies, then at the bouquet of flower he carelessly left on the chair. “What the hell is going on?”

“I mean… you graduated,” Jaehyun shrugged nonchalantly. “You’re leaving soon, right?”

“Yeah,” Sicheng answered incredulously. In fact, he was going to leave the country the following day with his parents.

“So, I figure there’s no point of fighting. Let’s just be nice to each other,” Jaehyun said.

“So that’s what this is, a peace offering?” Sicheng raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“You could say so…” Jaehyun shrugged.

Sicheng narrowed his eyes at him and Jaehyun grinned again, bringing out the dimples. It was infectious, Sicheng admitted. He wanted to be mad. He probably should be mad. But the whole situation was just too ridiculous, he couldn’t help laughing.

“This is hard,” Jaehyun murmured.

“Tell me about it,” Sicheng scoffed.

It broke the ice between them. The conversation flowed easier after that. Jaehyun told him about his military life. It was decidedly boring, he said, but physically demanding. He was posted as a driver in the army, so he spent most of his time on the road, driving the soldiers between bases. 

“First thing I do every time I come home is get a massage,” Jaehyun said.

He said he got quite close with the other soldiers. Most of them were around his age, except this one actor who got drafted late, like any other celebrities. Jaehyun showed him their picture together. Sicheng thought he had seen him in a drama before.

“We hooked up once,” Jaehyun mentioned casually.

“Oh, he’s gay?” Sicheng raised his eyebrows.

“I don’t know, I didn’t ask,” Jaehyun shrugged. “Maybe he was just horny.”

“Do people hook up in the military, like on the down low?” Sicheng asked. The soldiers were surrounded by mostly men for months on end, surely quite a few guys got curious.

“Oh, yeah, for sure,” Jaehyun chuckled. “We don’t talk about it, but everyone fucked around all the time.”

“Including you?” Sicheng asked.

“You know me…” Jaehyun smirked, definitely implying he had his share of hookups. Sicheng scoffed as he sipped his coffee.

“What about you?” Jaehyun asked. “Aside from Yuta, of course.”

“God, you wouldn’t let that go, would you?” Sicheng snorted.

“How can I? You were so sure nothing would ever happen between you two and then you fucked him the second I left?” Jaehyun asked incredulously. “Like, did it have to be him?”

“It was actually six months after, but okay…” Sicheng rolled his eyes.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Jaehyun insisted.

“You really wanted me to answer that?” Sicheng asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun nodded like it was obvious. Right. Sicheng forgot how Jaehyun always preferred to voice out his questions, rather to just keep them to himself like a normal person.

The honest reason was Sicheng wanted to forget about Jaehyun, wanted to erase the taste of him on his lips, or the shape of his arms against his skin. Sicheng wasn’t picky with his partner. Anyone would do, really.

Yuta was just there, when Sicheng needed it the most. Sicheng already knew he was interested, and he said yes right away after Sicheng presented him with the option. The rest was history.

“It was because I knew he’d said yes,” Sicheng shrugged.

“So, you were the one who asked him?” Jaehyun looked more annoyed about that fact.

“Stop it,” Sicheng chided.

“Did you date anyone?” Jaehyun kept prodding, ignoring Sicheng’s warning.

“No,” Sicheng replied curtly.

“Why? Because you can’t date me?” Jaehyun chuckled dryly.

Sicheng didn’t need to be reminded of the fact. He clearly remembered. Sometimes, he thought that was the reason he never really got over Jaehyun, because he never really had him. 

Oh, they made out and fucked as much as they could, given the limited time they had together, but that was the extent of the affair. Jaehyun told him he loved him, but Sicheng never really bought it, to be completely honest.

Sicheng didn’t grace him with an answer. He chose to nibble on the brownies instead. Jaehyun stared at him, probably thinking he said the wrong thing and hurt Sicheng inadvertently.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun said.

“It’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it,” Sicheng shook his head. No need to overcomplicate things. They already did all that the first time around and nothing to show for it, only pain and heartbreak.

“I want to, though,” Jaehyun murmured. Sicheng furrowed his eyebrows at him, but Jaehyun wouldn’t budge. He was determined to follow this through.

“Okay…” Sicheng sighed wearily. “Say what you want to say.”

Jaehyun took a pause, probably mulling over what to say in his mind. Sicheng waited without a word, still taking little bites of the brownies. It was too sweet for his taste, actually, but Sicheng had nothing else to distract him. So, he munched on.

“It’s a question,” Jaehyun finally said after a few minutes. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

God. Sicheng was afraid of only one question and by the look of Jaehyun’s face, that was the very question he wanted to ask. Sicheng pushed down the urge to run and kept his eyes down, avoiding Jaehyun’s gaze.

“Have you ever regretted it?” Jaehyun asked. “Rejecting me, I mean.”

Sicheng did. Many, many times. Ten would know. Because he was the one who had to pick up the pieces, who had to console him when he cried, or bring him something to eat when he was too sad to get out of the bed.

Sicheng had lost count how many times he typed a long text to Jaehyun, asking for forgiveness, asking for another chance, or simply telling him he loves him, still. But not one text ever sent. Sicheng never slipped, even when he was drunk out of his mind. In the end, his logic had always won.

“Does it matter?” Sicheng asked back.

“Of course, it does!” Jaehyun hissed, annoyed.

Sicheng considered lying and be done with it. He probably would get away with it too, since Jaehyun had never been able to read him well. Unlike Jaehyun, Sicheng had been training to hide his feelings all his life and he was disgustingly good at it. But he didn’t want to deceive Jaehyun. Not when Jaehyun already went out of his way to patch things up between them.

“I have,” Sicheng answered, shrugging. “I’m only human.”

Jaehyun’s expression didn’t change, like he already expected that answer. Damn. Okay. Maybe Jaehyun could read him better that he thought he could.

“But I haven’t changed my mind. I still think it was the right decision,” Sicheng felt the need to emphasize it. Jaehyun’s eyes softened as his lips curved into a wistful smile.

“Of course, you do,” Jaehyun murmured.

“What about you, then?” Sicheng turned the question around.

“Me?” Jaehyun scoffed before sipping his coffee. “I think it goes without saying. Why do you think I came to see you in the first place?”

“Right…” Sicheng muttered awkwardly, lowering his gaze again.

“I’m sorry for the way I behaved in the past two years. You didn’t deserve all that,” Jaehyun said, looking at Sicheng in the eyes as he said it.

“I know,” Sicheng deadpanned. “But I understand, you know.”

Sometimes, you just do what you got to do to protect yourself. If Jaehyun thought staying away from Sicheng was better for him, Sicheng wouldn’t blame him for it. It was the least he could do anyway.

“You shouldn’t,” Jaehyun scoffed.

“I mean, I was angry that you cut me out of your life just because I slept with another guy,” Sicheng admitted. “I thought even if we couldn’t be together, at least, we could stay friends.”

“Do you seriously think we can go back to being friends?” Jaehyun asked in disbelief.

To be completely honest, the answer was no. Sicheng had never seen Jaehyun as just a friend in the first place. He was gone for him from day one. Even when he thought Jaehyun was straight. Even when Jaehyun had his big sexuality crisis during freshman year and Sicheng wasn’t the one who caused it.

“That’s what I thought,” Jaehyun murmured when Sicheng stayed quiet.

*

“Where are you staying?” Jaehyun suddenly asked. Sicheng mentioned the name of the hotel. It was close, probably only a ten minutes’ walk from the café.

“Alone?” Jaehyun asked again.

“With my parents, but we’re staying in different rooms,” Sicheng replied. “Why?”

Sicheng looked up to him and their eyes met right away. Jaehyun shrugged a little and shook his head.

“Nothing,” Jaehyun murmured.

Sicheng had an inkling of where Jaehyun was going with this. He kept his silence and kept eating the brownies, while he thought about the idea in his head.

Sicheng hadn’t thought about Jaehyun that way in a long time. You didn’t really think about fucking someone who gone radio silence on you for more than a year. But the second the possibility was presented to him, Sicheng’s heart leaped with hope. Just thinking about it already made his heart pounding and his body trembled with excitement.

The fact that Jaehyun was off limits to him for a long time only fueled the fleeting feelings even more. It was honestly pathetic how easily Jaehyun could ignite the torch Sicheng used to carry for him. His only consolation was Jaehyun seemed to be more desperate than he was.

“You’re coming to dinner, right?” Sicheng asked, testing the water cautiously.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun nodded.

“We still have three hours left,” Sicheng stated, with an almost indifferent tone. “Where are you going to wait it out?”

“What about you?” Jaehyun threw a glance at him, just as hesitant.

“I’m going back to the hotel,” Sicheng said. Another silence as they stared at each other. The air between them prickled with tension, to the point it was almost suffocating. But Sicheng didn’t want to invite him first. If Jaehyun wanted it to happen, he had to ask for it.

“Should I go with you?” Jaehyun finally asked.

“Sure, if you want,” Sicheng still tried to be nonchalant, even though his heart was thumping loudly in his ears.

“Okay, let’s go, then,” Jaehyun cocked his head toward the door.

It’s really happening, Sicheng thought in disbelief. Because as soon as he followed Jaehyun outside, he already knew they were going to fuck. There was no denying the fact that they were both very much still attracted to each other, like an addict craving for his drug. Sicheng couldn’t decide who was who in this scenario. Maybe he was the drug. He was definitely bad for Jaehyun.

“Come on, the traffic light is going to change soon,” Sicheng fastened his pace. Jaehyun took the bouquet and grasp his hand as they crossed the street, lacing their fingers together. Sicheng threw a glance at him in surprise. Jaehyun’s expression was neutral, but his ears were red, giving his true feelings away.

Sicheng fell a step behind when a group of students passed by them and, but Jaehyun wouldn’t let his hand go. He stared at the back of his head, feeling a catch in his throat.

They didn’t talk until they arrived in front of Sicheng’s door. Sicheng fished the keycard out of his pocket and held the door open for Jaehyun. They both walked in, awkwardly averting their gaze as they took off their shoes because the fact that they were in a hotel room together finally sank in.

The last time Sicheng was alone with Jaehyun, they were all over each other. They lay down together for the last time behind Jaehyun’s door with both his parents on the other side. Only a few hours before Jaehyun walked Sicheng to his door for the last time. Sicheng couldn’t even remember what happened that day well because he just couldn’t stop crying. In fact, he never cried harder in his entire life before.

Sicheng had locked the painful memory inside a box and buried it deep at the back of his mind. Being with Jaehyun in this room felt like opening that box and reliving those moments again. With only a glance at him, Sicheng knew Jaehyun was thinking about the same thing. There was no doubt about it.

“Um…” Sicheng murmured, willing himself to look away. He walked toward the desk and put down the robe and the bouquet he was carrying. Jaehyun trailed behind him and sat down at the edge of the bed. His eyes followed Sicheng as he took off his jacket carefully and fit them inside the designated bag.

“Sicheng-ah…” Jaehyun called.

“What?” Sicheng huffed.

“Sit down first,” Jaehyun said casually. Sicheng paused for a second, still pretending he hadn’t made up his mind about inviting Jaehyun to his bed.

“So?” Jaehyun asked when Sicheng sat down beside him. Sicheng scoffed at the way Jaehyun said it. As if Sicheng would spread his legs for him the second he asked for it.

He probably would.

“What?” Sicheng scoffed, still feigning ignorance.

“Are you still going to pretend we’re not about to fuck?” Jaehyun whispered. The crude word sent a tingle directly into his dick. He started to get hard before Jaehyun even touched him, for crying out loud.

Sicheng just stared at him without a word, even though he knew it would only annoy Jaehyun.

“Are you sure?” Sicheng felt the need to ask whether Jaehyun had thought this through, to give him an out if he needed it.

“Just…” Jaehyun took a sharp breath, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “It’s just sex. It’s not that deep.”

“You know it wasn’t. Not between us,” Sicheng murmured and took a proper look at him, directly at his eyes. He didn’t know what he was looking for. Maybe the real intentions behind the casual words, what he really felt behind the cool facade.

Jaehyun snorted and looked away, as if he wanted to calm himself down before Sicheng could read his raw emotion on his face. But when he turned to face Sicheng, his eyes were glassy, and his lips curled into a tight smile. Sicheng frowned as he caressed Jaehyun’s cheek softly.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Sicheng said, pleading almost.

“You couldn’t hurt me more than you already did,” Jaehyun whispered. When Sicheng didn’t say anything, he added, “Just let me have this before you leave. I won’t ask for more.”

Jaehyun already decided even before he came to see him, Sicheng realized as he looked into his eyes. He wanted this to happen and Sicheng would give anything he asked, really. For Jaehyun, he was always weak like that.

“Okay,” Sicheng nodded, finally relenting.

“Okay,” Jaehyun murmured, before tilting his head closer. His beanie fell down as he did, revealing his buzz cut. Sicheng pulled away slightly, to take a look at him. Jaehyun was still handsome, even with the haircut. In fact, it only complimented his features.

“Why?” Jaehyun asked.

“Nothing,” Sicheng shook his head, smiling.

“Wait, let me…” Jaehyun took off his jacket, revealing the white shirt underneath. He raised his hand to touch Sicheng’s cheek and only then Sicheng realized he was wearing the clover bracelet Sicheng gave him.

“Oh, you still wear this?” Sicheng asked, touching the bracelet.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun admitted sheepishly.

Jaehyun averted his gaze, looking flustered when Sicheng glanced at him in question. For how adamant Jaehyun was to avoid him all this time, Sicheng wouldn’t think Jaehyun would’ve kept the only gift he ever gave him.

“Why…” Sicheng started, but Jaehyun swiftly shut him up with a kiss. He wrapped his arms around him and Sicheng melted into his touch immediately, letting Jaehyun fit their bodies together, still suited perfectly like a glove.

Jaehyun’s touch was still a bit rough around the edges, a little too careless. His kisses were filthy, too much lips and tongue, not enough bites. So, Sicheng did, just a little pressure on his lower lips. It still surprised Jaehyun because he drew back immediately and looked at him with wide eyes.

“Why?” Sicheng asked.

“Nothing,” Jaehyun murmured before leaning closer again to kiss his way down onto his neck, sucking bruises under his collar.

“I don’t have anything,” Sicheng said. He certainly didn’t plan to fuck anyone when he flew into the city with his parents two days ago.

“I got it,” Jaehyun croaked between kisses.

“You’re really came prepared, huh?” Sicheng teased.

Jaehyun just smirked as he lifted Sicheng slightly, just enough so he sat on his lap. Sicheng was already hard, straining against his slack. All he wanted was some friction, some relief to his arousal. Jaehyun slithered his hand down to his ass and grabbed a handful, pulling him closer to encourage him.

His intention was clear and Sicheng understood right away. A low whine escaped Sicheng’s mouth as he started to rut against Jaehyun’s thigh. His head was thrown back, exposing the column of his neck.

“Jaehyun-ah…” Sicheng moaned when Jaehyun started to unbutton his shirt and slipped his fingers inside, carefully grazing his nipple with his thumb, while his lips and tongue still sucked bruises on his neck. He squirmed on Jaehyun’s lap from all the stimulants. It was too much and not enough at the same time.

“Easy, babe. Why are you so worked up already?” Jaehyun chuckled.

“I don’t know…” Sicheng was flushed all the way down to his neck, embarrassed by how fucking horny he was.

Granted, it had been a long time since he fucked anyone. The last time was when Sicheng was so stressed about his thesis and he felt like he needed a quick release, so he hooked up with someone he found on Grindr. That was almost six months ago.

Maybe that was why.

Jaehyun’s smirk was completely smug as he held Sicheng’s waist and flipped him until he lay on his back. Jaehyun took his time to peel off Sicheng’s clothes one by one, planting kisses on his chest, stomach, thighs as he did.

Sicheng was panting as he looked down to Jaehyun, spreading his legs pliantly to make space for him. There was no hiding the tent in his brief, or a wet spot on the grey fabric from the precum.

Jaehyun hummed as he palmed Sicheng over his brief, wrapped his fingers around the girth and thumbing the slit on the head, Sicheng whined shamelessly, arching his back and bucked up his hips.

“Fuck, you’re still so responsive,” Jaehyun murmured as he stroked Sicheng, too slow to give him much pleasure, but Sicheng moaned anyway. “You’re going to cum the second I’m inside you if you keep this up.”

“Hurry up, then,” Sicheng croaked.

“Alright, boss,” Jaehyun chuckled.

“Take this off,” Sicheng tugged on Jaehyun’s shirt. 

Jaehyun discarded his shirt promptly. The army really did his body wonder, because Jaehyun was ripped as fuck. He didn’t really get bigger, just way more toned with every muscle sculpted to perfection. Jaehyun grinned as Sicheng unabashedly stared at him, totally enjoying the attention.

“You can touch, if you want,” Jaehyun teased.

Sicheng latched onto him right away, palming the bare skin of his chest and abs, tracing the curve of his muscles. Jaehyun hissed at his cold hands, but his protest turned into a groan when Sicheng flicked on his nipple with his tongue.

“Sicheng…” Jaehyun moaned.

He hummed as he pulled Jaehyun toward the bed so he could fit their lips together. There was no finesse in the way they kissed, or grinded against each other. It was just lust and more lust.

They struggled to rid of the rest of their clothes—mostly because none of them wanted to stop making out long enough to actually get it done. By the time they were naked, Sicheng was already breathless, eager to get Jaehyun inside him as soon as possible.

Sichen whined endlessly when Jaehyun took his sweet time working him open. He wanted it fast and dirty, but Jaehyun wasn’t having any of it. So, he had no choice but kept lying on his stomach, cried into the pillow, grasping onto the sheet for purchase as Jaehyun slowly grinded three of his fingers into him. He rolled his hips, eager for more friction but Jaehyun pinned him down to the bed to stop him.

“Jaehyun…” Sicheng groaned.

“Just a little more, baby, you’re still so tight,” Jaehyun curled his fingers upward and Sicheng let out a broken moan, almost drooling from the pleasure.

“Oh, fuck,” Sicheng had no choice but to drag his length onto the bed, desperate for some relief.

“Let me,” Jaehyun murmured and stroked his cock to help him.

“Just fuck me already, damn it,” Sicheng complained, even when he bucked his hips up to meet Jaehyun’s hand.

“Eager, aren’t we?” Jaehyun teased before finally pulled his fingers out of Sicheng’s entrance and wiped them on the sheet. Sicheng turned to lay on his back so he could watch Jaehyun put on a condom and lubed himself up generously.

“Alright, how do you want to do this?” Jaehyun asked.

“Like this,” Sicheng said as he splayed his legs open, inviting him to get closer. Jaehyun’s eyes glinted dangerously as he guided his cock toward Sicheng’s ass, sighing as the head nudged his rim, before pushing in.

“Ah…” Sicheng moaned.

“The noises you make,” Jaehyun mused as he rocked his hips slowly to ease the slide.

“You like it?” Sicheng chuckled.

“Yeah, fuck,” Jaehyun sighed as he settled in. He rearranged Sicheng’s legs, so they rested on his shoulders. “It’s the second best part of fucking you.”

“What’s the first?” Sicheng asked.

“Well, fucking you, obviously,” Jaehyun said before dragging his cock out and slammed in. Sicheng couldn’t help whining loudly, gripping on Jaehyun’s arm to steady himself.

Jaehyun grabbed his waist and fucked into him with reckless abandon, setting a relentless pace from the start. Sicheng almost choked from the pleasure, overwhelmed by the sensations.

“Let me hear you,” Jaehyun said.

“Jaehyun…” Sicheng moaned shamelessly. “Hyun-ah... “

Using the pet names Jaehyun’s parents used to call him at home in bed was downright dirty, a little kink Sicheng found out about him years ago. But Jaehyun always enjoyed impure things a little too much.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Jaehyun groaned.

“Yeah?” Sicheng taunted. “Better than everyone else?

“Always, baby,” Jaehyun leaned down to latch their lips together. It wasn’t quite a kiss, just them panting into each other's mouth, but Sicheng liked him close. So, he hooked his legs behind Jaehyun’s back and grabbed his ass to keep him there.

Jaehyun kneeled on the bed for leverage as he thrusted into him. The new angle felt good, even better when Jaehyun maintained a slow pace, screwing him deeper than before.

“Fuck…” Sicheng keened breathlessly. “Hngg… faster…”

“Like this?” Jaehyun asked as he fastened the roll of his hips. Sicheng cried out, sounded completely wrecked even by his own ears. Jaehyun’s eyes never strayed away from his face, staring at him intently as if he wanted to note his reaction. A desire to be good, to return the favor and please Jaehyun just a bit more suddenly engulfed him.

“Hyun-ah…” Sicheng murmured.

“Yeah?” Jaehyun paused for a second. Sicheng didn’t say anything before he raised his legs and held them up, showing off his flexibility. This was the only time his years of dance training still came in handy—when his partner could fold him in half as he rammed into him.

“Fuck, Sicheng…” Jaehyun’s eyes went even darker at the sight.

“Go on…” Sicheng cocked his head toward him. When Jaehyun finally moved again, he was merciless, as if determined to completely ruin him. And ruin him Jaehyun did. Sicheng was incoherent with bliss, mumbling louder with each thrust.

“Did you miss me?” Jaehyun whispered.

“Yes,” Sicheng murmured into his ear. “Always.”

The confession seemed to stir something in Jaehyun. He crashed their lips together, as the snap of his hips turned frantic. The lack of rhythm almost took Sicheng’s breath away. He gasped each time Jaehyun gave it to him a little harder, a little deeper. 

“Ah, ah, Hyun-ah,” Sicheng whimpered, bucking up his hips to meet Jaehyun in the middle.

“You’re close?” Jaehyun asked. Sicheng nodded swiftly. “Do you want me to touch you?”

“No… just…” Sicheng whined, trembling as Jaehyun aimed upward, hitting his prostate. “I want to cum on your cock.”

“Fuck, okay,” Jaehyun groaned.

“Kiss me,” Sicheng pleaded. Jaehyun bent all the way down so he could plant a kiss on his lips. It was surprisingly innocent, considering Jaehyun was still fucking him with passion.

“Fuck, I’m…” Jaehyun groaned before he could finish what he was saying, He pushed all the way in and filled the condom deep inside Sicheng. His whole body tensed beautifully, eyes closed, and mouth parted open with a loud moan. Sicheng’s name adorned his lips like a prayer. 

The sight was what pushed Sicheng over the edge, only a few seconds later, yelling Jaehyun’s name as he shot out so hard, some of his cum landed on his own neck. His vision went dark, his body shook all over.

Sicheng didn’t know how long they stayed like that. Jaehyun slumped on top of him, completely boneless. His weight felt nice, grounding him as he came down from his high.

“Oh my god,” Sicheng sighed after regained his consciousness, bit by bit.

“I know,” Jaehyun chuckled. Sicheng wrapped his arms around him, stroking the back of his head affectionately. 

Jaehyun rolled off him sometimes after and carefully pulled out of him. Sicheng’s eyes was still closed, already half asleep when Jaehyun came back and wrapped his arms around his waist as he buried his face on his shoulders.

“It was better than I remember,” Jaehyun said.

“Really?” Sicheng snorted.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun chuckled before finding his lips again. They made out for a while, just soft kisses, and gentle rolls of tongue, filling the room with the sound of their heavy breaths. Then it started to get filthier and filthier, before Sicheng found himself getting hard again. 

He reached down between Jaehyun’s thighs, grinning when he found Jaehyun was just as aroused. They jerked each other off with no finesse, fast and dirty since they already came once anyway.

It felt like a deja vu, because this was how they did it the first they were naked together. Jerking each other off like a couple of teenagers, eager to get off. Sicheng was desperate at that time, he remembered. He wanted everything Jaehyun could give him and he wasn’t shy to ask for it. But this time was different. Sicheng didn’t even need to ask, Jaehyun was ready to give it all to him.

When their orgasms finally hit, it was gentle, almost serene. Jaehyun came quietly, with only a hitch on his breath. Sicheng was too tired to make any noises, he just sighed into Jaehyun’s neck as he spilled on his hand. 

After they finished, they kept lying down without a word, curling into each other, too spent to clean up right away.

“Did you mean what you said?” Jaehyun broke the silence after a while.

“What?” Sicheng couldn’t really comprehend what he meant. His brain still couldn’t function properly after everything they did.

“When you said you missed me…” Jaehyun murmured.

Sicheng considered lying, because saying the truth felt a little too vulnerable and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. But what was the point, Sicheng wondered. They already knew how much of a goner they were for each other.

“Sometimes…” Sicheng finally answered.

“What made you think of me?” Jaehyun asked again.

“Jaehyun…” Sicheng warned because what good would it do. It wouldn’t turn back the time and undo what already happened.

“Just tell me…” Jaehyun insisted stubbornly.

“When it snows,” Sicheng relented. “Reminds me of that ski trip.”

Jaehyun hummed and tightened his hug around Sicheng’s waist. “What else?”

“When I have to find a partner for a class and I automatically look around for you. When I went to your favorite restaurants, or a bakery. When I see someone in a military uniform.”

He might as well have said everything reminded him of Jaehyun, but he was too tired to feel embarrassed about it. Jaehyun could think all he wanted.

“Will you ask me what made me think of you?” Jaehyun whispered.

“What is it?” Sicheng huffed.

“The bracelet you gave me. I wear it everywhere I go,” Jaehyun murmured.

“Even when you weren’t talking to me?” Sicheng asked in disbelief.

“Especially when I wasn’t talking to you,” Jaehyun said. His eyes were honest this time and Sicheng knew even without Jaehyun having to say it. Jaehyun went through the same struggle to move on after what happened between them.

Unfortunately, two years later, they both still came to the same conclusion. The only thing different was Jaehyun accepted it without a fight this time. Sicheng couldn’t decide whether he should be happy about it or not.

Jaehyun smiled wistfully when Sicheng stroked his cheek gently. He leaned closer but stopped in the middle as if waiting for Sicheng to close the distance. So, Sicheng did, pressing his lips onto Jaehyun’s soft lips for a chaste kiss.

“Do we have enough time for a nap?” Jaehyun asked.

“Yeah,” Sicheng nodded, glancing his phone on the nightstand.

“Spoon me,” Jaehyun said, almost like a command. Sicheng snorted, but he still covered both of them with the duvet. Then, he scooted closer so he could circle his arm around Jaehyun’s body.

With essentially no distance between them, Sicheng could smell a whiff of strawberry and mint from his hair. Sicheng buried his face on his nape, inhaling the sweet scent.

“Are you smelling me?” Jaehyun chuckled. Sicheng was too embarrassed to answer, so he stayed silent. Jaehyun giggled, before taking his hand and tightened his hug.

“Is it weird if we come to the dinner together?” Jaehyun murmured.

“Yeah, it is…” Sicheng admitted. “But I’m leaving the country tomorrow, so I’m not going to be here when everyone wants to ask questions about us.”

“Yeah, but I will,” Jaehyun scoffed.

“So, you make the call,” Sicheng said. “We’ll do whatever you want.”

Jaehyun yawned loudly before humming, “We’ll see.”

Later, after they woke up from a nap that went a lot longer than they had planned and washed up a little to hide the fact they just fucked each other, they didn’t have enough time to talk about whether they should come together or not.

So, they just put on their clothes and ran to the dakgalbi restaurant where they supposed to meet their friends. Ten and Johnny whistled loudly when they showed up together, while the others exchanged knowing glances and teasing laughs.

Sicheng ignored them and took one of the empty seats at the end of the table. Jaehyun sat beside him and immediately raised his hand to the waiter, asking for beers. Ten stopped them when they were about to take a sip of their beer.

“Let’s have a toast first,” Ten said. “Come on, everyone, raised your glass.”

Sicheng glance around the table, taking his time to look at each of the familiar faces. His found family, who helped him a lot all through for years. The hyungs who always got his back and doted on him, the dongsaengs who were always playful, who never failed to cheer him up when he was down.

Then, the only one who shared his birth year, the one he loved all through four years in Seoul, the one who got away and came back to him for his last day in the city.

“To our lovely Dong Sicheng!” Taeil led the toast. Sicheng giggled as he clinked his glass to Jaehyun’s, then Mark’s, then Yukhei’s, then everyone else who sat close enough to him.

Sicheng silently grasped Jaehyun’s hand under the table, intertwining their fingers together in an affectionate squeeze. He couldn’t say it here, couldn’t say it out loud, but he was thankful for Jaehyun’s presence, grateful that he approached him first and gave them another chance to be together, as short as it was.

Their eyes met for a second. Sicheng’s lips curved into a smile as he nodded at Jaehyun, just a little. Jaehyun smiled into his glass before he drank his beer. Sicheng wanted to kiss each of his dimple, wanted to capture his smile, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed and stored them in his memory to be relived later, when he’s thousands of miles away.

Because those were all he could get from this fleeting affair. Memories. For what it was worth, Sicheng couldn’t ask for happier moment to close this chapter of his life.

And it was enough, Sicheng thought.

It was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a fun TMI : I know nothing about Korean university culture, so I used my own alma mater as an inspiration for their university. I even used the same color of the graduation robe lol. So, if you're Indonesian and you recognized the campus, well just ignore it 🙃
> 
> Also, if you're confused about why Taeil, Taeyong and Youngho graduated with Sicheng, it was because they took a break from uni for their military service. So they graduate 2 years later than their peers. All the Koreans from 97 to 00 line were all serving in the military during this time. That's kind of the reality for Korean men when you're not a celebrity 😥


End file.
